I found myself in a funk Friday, a melancholic mood of sorts, which slipped into Saturday. Similar to most days, people expect the jovial and joking Jeremy and so I smile as usual, carrying on with the day’s activities as if everything is normal. Behind the façade, however, my mind is racing as it analyzes (/over analyzes) every nuanced detail.
Specific details of the recent situation are irrelevant; the response received while discussing with others, however, is one that sparks a whole other dialogue. On par with the standard exchange between two people seeing each other for the first time on any particular day:
Person A: “Hi, how are you?”
Person B: “Good. How are you?
Person A: “Good”
…the response I receive from seemingly pious persons I share remnants of my personal life with is similar, “Let go…Let God”; standardized. My personal belief is prior to (not post) agonizing over something, supplication followed by confidence the Lord will work the situation out, is what should happen; admittedly that’s easier said than done.
Those that make this blanket statement (although I genuinely hope they do so grounded in faith and with the unequivocal belief letting God take control is the right answer), I find make it without much thought. **But just some food for thought so hopefully when you think to say it, you mean it. **
Nonetheless, the adage above, an answer to a situation where a solution (or even a clear understanding) continues to escape me, was at the forefront of my mind most of last night and through this morning.
I won’t begin to pretend I know how to, or always have, let go of a situation stepping back letting the Lord work it out. Whether that’s evidence my faith is waning or proof God’s will isn’t being accomplished because of my own arrogance attempting to resolve a situation myself, this concept is a continual point of struggle with me.
Nevertheless, I’ve gone to the Lord in prayer, or in heated homily, many mornings driven by anger that a job didn’t materialize, a relationship ended, finances weren’t sufficient for current and future plans, and a host of other intimate thoughts. There are typically tears streaming down my face as I end the prayer leaving me feeling both emotionally empty while religiously renewed. It’s in those rare moments I realize emotionally letting go liberates and letting God gives strength.
Disappointment is inevitable and some things are just outside our realm of understanding, but within those moments, listen to the still, small voice impressing you to “Keep Praying Kid”.
…Let God.
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