There are few things I regret, or rather few things I openly admit I regret, about my life. One such thing is not taking full advantage of learning, or continuing to learn during my teenage years, another language. I have fond memories of sitting in class in elementary school and the first two years of high school conjugating verbs in Français…je, tu, il, elle, nous, vous, etc…
…then there are fond memories of me paying extra attention during those French lessons in an attempt to become fluent, as a means to seduce young ladies with my formidable command of the French language, which would extend far beyond, “Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir”. Undoubtedly (so was my thought at the time), my mastery of another language would reap the reward of a whole lot of coucher-ing…it was a means to an end. [I keep telling you, “Don’t hate the player, hate the game baby!”]
After my first and second year of high school French, and my discovering my ‘gift of gab’ was, shall we say, rewarding enough, I didn’t bother enrolling in any additional classes.
Over the years I’ve beaten myself up over that decision and wonder why in the world my aunt/uncle didn’t strenuously object or push me to continue with the coursework. But alas, the past is the past.
While this regret has remained in the back of my mind, I’ve developed a certain admiration for those that stayed on course, continued conjugating, and mastered another language. That’s actually part of the reason I respect many European and African cultures as being bi/tri-lingual is a standard, not an exception, impressing, or surprising.
I made the latter statement to a friend years ago and his response was, “Well that’s because those Europeans/Africans learn English as their second language…who doesn’t want to learn the American language?” o_O
Now…if you’re reading this then you’ve more than likely been privy to my vocalizing my disdain of, and sheer disgust with, ignorance…namely American ignorance or better phrased, American arrogance.
For the record, I don’t take issue with all Americans; heck, I’ve been living amongst them for years and I recognize this truly is a land of opportunity…even more opportunity than Canada, eh! My issue, however, is that <some> Americans tout themselves as superior in all respects when oft times the individuals making the bold and condescending characterizations of other cultures are clearly cretinous!
I mean how the hell do you speak negatively about a culture where the citizens speak multiple languages fluently and your arrogant a-- can’t even speak one language properly? Really?!?
And let’s just put all the cards on the table while we’re chit chatting because ‘English’ is not an American language. It’s a language spoken by Americans but you Yankees (those reading this) need to stop deluding yourselves by acting as though the U.S. wasn’t colonized by the English/Brits like half of the free friggin’ world was…meaning it’s their (the English…England…the Queen…as in why it’s called the Queen’s English) language you just continued using. Furthermore, removing the u from a few words does not make English an American language. Lastly, attempting to “correct” me by telling me colour, favour, or neighbour, aren’t spelled correctly exemplifies how moronic ‘Mericans can be. So you fought the Brits, gained your independence and the best you could do was take a few u’s out and refuse to use the metric system? #yeahok
Nonetheless…my regret as it relates to not speaking multiple languages fluently inspires me to not only master the English language but to become effortlessly eloquent.
I in no way think I am at that point, but I have no reservations about saying I recognize my command of the English language is slightly better than the average American…or at least the average American I’ve come across both during my post-secondary education and in the last few years I’ve been in the workforce.
With that said, I got into a spirited debate with a colleague of mine from a former employer because of the following exchange:
JE: “You sound like you’re trying to put the onus on me.”
She: “I have a pretty wide vocabulary; please stop using words that I have to look up.”
JE: “OBVIOUSLY not if you don't know what 'onus' means!”
She: “Somebody at work next to me also did not know what "onus" was. You Canadians using strange words.”
o_O
We went back and forth for a few hours as she vehemently argued I was using “obscure words” (her words, not mine) and I informed her she wasn’t the brightest crayon in the box (nor was the person sitting next to her all that bright either) so her opinion meant nothing. I tried to end it on a positive note, being the gentleman I am, by thanking her for re-affirming my decision to never send my children to her alma mater – DePaul University – (SHOTS FIRED!!!), but she didn’t take too kindly to that comment.
The lady friend was sitting next to me while I went back and forth with this dense dame so I showed her the GChat history and asked her if I was being outrageous. She (the lady friend) had a good chuckle over the fact I took a shot at DePaul University but considering she’s dictier than me having attended U of C and previously pointing out other educational institutions weren’t in her “tier” (therein lies the reason why…), I knew she would understand the point I was making.
Label me unnecessarily verbose or bourgeoisie (colloquially that translates to “boogie” for you clowns that can’t be bothered to learn or use “college words”) all you damn well want, but don’t lash out at me because all you read were Archie comics and your vocabulary results in my asking: ‘Are you smarter than a 5th grader’?
The spirited debate above is one example, definitely not the only, and likely won’t be the last, as friends and foes alike constantly challenge my word choice in the course of colloquy.
I’m taken aback by the passion of these persons as they fervently fault me rather than taking a fraction of the time spent arguing to look up the word, make a mental note to add it to their repertoire, and keep it moving.
Are the standards set by our circle of friends or our families so low, or the lessons taught throughout our educational lives insufficient such that anyone who sounds somewhat more articulate or someone who has a marginally broader vocabulary is frowned upon?
Truth be told, I didn’t attend a premier post-secondary institution nor did I major or minor in English; I’m just thoughtful when it comes to my written and spoken word as I was taught the importance of presenting a polished you, so as to shine through, at a very young age.
I’ve remembered that lesson my whole life and take every opportunity to expand my vocabulary making additions to my mental lexicon so as to always present the best me…because corny as it may be, no one will do that except me.
The onus is on us (read: on you)!
Cheers.
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