Restaurant week is underway and I’m getting emails, IM’s, and text messages from fellow foodies attempting to schedule an hour or two of my time to attend the array of restaurants included in this year’s festivities.
Under normal circumstances, I’m the one initiating requests to dine at a new establishment or return to a spot in my regular rotation but when restaurant week comes around, I prefer to be incognito, or at least as much as possible.
There are Mrs.’ and mistresses’ alike that get excited about restaurant week (in part because I’ll forward along details) and suggest we participate. I avoid participating or rather avoid participating directly and attend restaurants not included on the restaurant week listing. It doesn’t make much sense to most people and a few friends have chastised me based on their belief that there’s no rhyme or reason to what they deem my snobbery.
But as with most things I do, there’s a clear protocol and an underlying reason. As it relates to restaurant week, the underlying reasons are simple: 1) I’m claustrophobic, and 2) I’m a cuisine connoisseur.
Firstly, you have to battle it out with an army of simpletons flooding the same restaurants trying to take advantage of prix fixe menus forcing you to make reservations at inopportune times; you request a reservation at 6pm and the restaurant tells you 3pm or 9pm are the only available times…I mean who the hell wants to eat dinner at 3pm? Not to mention dinner at 9pm does not help me “preserve my sexy”. If you get over that hurdle and make it into one of the listed restaurants, there are then hundreds of people and the host(-ess) decides you get the little corner table with about as much space as needed to fit two chop sticks and an appetizer plate because they’ve compacted the seats and tables to maximize profits. No bueno!!
Secondly, any connoisseur appreciates a dish that tastes and is served as if prepared by the winner of Top Chef, over a dish that looks like it came out of a Diners, Drive-In’s and Dives episode. Please understand I categorize (placing in hierarchal order) food, as with most things in my life, so the dish from DD&D has its place; just not when I’m in what I consider a finer establishment spending $40+/person. I need the chef’s primary focus to be the presentation and preparation of my individual plate and not getting hundreds of orders to tables (think ordering a steak medium and having the outside ‘Cajun’ and the inside rare). I can’t fault the restaurants for mass producing orders because a long time ago during a microeconomics class I learned something about maximizing profits which is ultimately what the restaurants do; serve food just good enough and fast enough (preparation/presentation the sacrifice for speed) to satisfy the hundreds of simpletons attending restaurant week. The restaurants could care less about pissing me off, the connoisseur, whose steak they didn’t butterfly correctly or to whom they served a potatoes-au- gratin side that had under/over-cooked potatoes! Aaargh!!!
This is not to say I avoid going out during restaurant week. Like I said above, if I do go out, I avoid many of those included in the listing of venues participating in restaurant week. Why? Have you not been paying attention?!? I’m claustrophobic and a connoisseur…and also realize that while the simpletons are flooding certain restaurants, others are just waiting for me to enter their establishment to allow them the opportunity to impress me with their quality and attention to detail, to the point I’ll send my regards to the chef.
So to all the restaurant week simpletons attendees, enjoy! For those not interested in partaking in the festivities directly, below is the Consummate Chi-City Cuisine Connoisseur’s (read moi) ‘Fav Five’:
1. Ruth’s Chris – http://www.ruthschris.com
Simply said: Ruth’s Chris is hands down the best steakhouse I’ve been to…period! I intended on giving a laundry list of reasons but that initial sentence sufficiently summed it up. If you don’t believe me, I will bet you any amount of your money that you’ll enjoy Ruth’s Chris. Deal? I recognize it’s included on the listing for restaurant week, however, I’ve eaten at this restaurant seven times in five different states and if I had to list my Top 5 dining experiences, at least four would go to this restaurant. Still need more convincing? The first city was Detroit and I regard that as one of the better experiences. Now we all know, “ain’t a doggone thang in/from Detroit any good…from Kwame Kilpatrick to Chrysler, that city sucks!”, so for me to make that statement, I’m astounded. I do not know the franchise’s formula for consistency in everything from preparation/presentation through customer service, but that establishment impresses me.
2. Texas de Brazil – http://www.texasdebrazil.com
Texas de Brazil, also on the restaurant week listing is simply said: the best Brazilian buffet/steakhouse (a carnivores’ heaven) I’ve been to…and yes, there was a season where I attended every last one in the City of Chicago. I mean unless you’re vegetarian or bulimic, the only way this restaurant could get better was if they had Brazilian women as the gauchos…and if they did, I would learn Portuguese so quick!”
3. The Clubhouse – http://www.theclubhouse.com
The Clubhouse is dear to my heart because it was a favourite of a former flame that flickered out a few months ago. Simply said: it was/is the best Sunday brunch spot I’ve been to anywhere! Writing about it brings back memories and a desire to reunite (the answer to the question you’re thinking is both). This was one mealtime marriage I never took lightly for some odd reason and although I’ve gone back once for dinner thoroughly enjoyed my meal, could never really go back unless it was with the Mrs…ex-Mrs. that is.
4. Grand Lux Café – http://www.grandluxcafe.com
Grand Lux makes this list because simply said, it is the best all purpose restaurant in Chicago. This restaurant combines a prime location, late(r) kitchen hours, great appetizers/entrees/drinks, sizeable portions, affordable prices (although without fail, whenever I attend with my main dining companion we spend no less than $100 when each of us, on individual trips there, spend far less…I don’t understand why either but I blame her of course), and amazing desserts (as its sister company is the Cheesecake Factory).
5. Ja Grill – http://www.jagrill.com
I love me some Jamaican food…ya man! “Bredren, di jerk sauce a bun me mout’ but mi nyam till mi belly full up!” For the non-Patois speaking, just know it means the food is “Damn good!” West Indian, particularly Jamaican, cuisine is only second to Ghanaian cuisine (and about 45 higher than Mexican), when it comes to ethnic foods. Therefore Ja Grill, not just by default but on its own merits, lands on this list as being the best sit-down Jamaican restaurant I’ve been to in the city of Chicago.
To help you out further, below is a list, as applicable to each restaurant, of my favourite items on each menu:
Drink | Appetizer | Entrée | Side Dish | Dessert | |
Ruth’s Chris | Pinot Noir, Parducci | Calamari | Lamb Chops | Sweet potato casserole + fresh asparagus | Warm apple crumb tart |
Texas de Brazil | Lemon-ada (iced/frozen lemonade) | Lobster bisque | ‡ | Cheese bread + bananas | N/A |
The Clubhouse‡ | ‡ | ‡ | Banana French toast + Prime Rib | ‡ | ‡ |
Grand Lux Cafe | Mai Tai | Buffalo chicken bites | Cajun Shrimp & Chicken Jambalaya or Indochine Shrimp & Chicken | N/A | Carrot cake or Vanilla bean cheesecake |
Ja Grill | Ja Rum Punch | Beef patty and/or Jerk wings | Jerk lamb or Skirt steak | N/A | Rum cake |
‡ - please keep in mind both are buffets and although I’ve included an item or two that are a definite must try, the bountiful selection provided will not disappoint at all.
If you have not had the esteemed pleasure of visiting any of the aforementioned eateries, I double dog dare you to dine at any of these restaurants and not fall in love with the food. If none of these restaurants are in your city, it behooves you to visit Chicago (among the other touristy things to do) and for a nominal fee (the cost of the meal described above…I’m just saying playa) I am more than willing to give you my personalized tour of these sumptuous venues.
Happy dining folks.
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