Goodbye Gang

At this point, most people know I’ve left good ol’ KPMG to move on to bigger and better things.  On my last day with the firm (12/10/10), having planned my exit for months and having discussed it with a few colleagues weeks prior, the overall consensus was that I walk into each partner’s office on the 14^th floor, kick down the door and go Howard Dean on they a—es yelling, “BYAAAAAAAH!!!!”, gauge the expression on each face, and march right on out as if nothing happened. 

Although a hilarious way to exit, my better business acumen kicked in and I opted for a slightly more diplomatic departure resulting in the email below.  I sent this to a fair number of colleagues in the Audit practice and a few others I interacted with outside the practice. 

I bumped into an individual from the latter group early last week who mentioned enjoying a good laugh while reading the email.  I’m not sure why he, or others for that matter, found it funny as I was being serious, but you be the judge.

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Ladies & Gentlemen,

‪As you may or may not know, today is my last day with KPMG.  I will pause for a moment of silence while you catch your breath or locate a Kleenex.

‪Let me take this opportunity to regale you with tales of my transcendent rise from a little Canadian chap to the astute accountant/auditor I am today.

‪Fourscore (days) + five years ago, while attending Oakwood University in the breathtaking city of Huntsville, AL, I decided I was going to work for a public accounting firm called Klynveld, Peat, Marwick, Goerdeler after a college friend’s older sister returned from a NABA Central Region conference where she interviewed with all the firms and ranked KPMG as the premier place to work in her opinion.   Having a great deal of respect for her and having heard similar accounts from various students who met other KPMG personnel at the NABA conference, I was intrigued by the firm and decided the following year, I too would attend the NABA conference and land a position with KPMG.

‪Fast forward one year, equipped with my gentle eyes, warm smile, and debonair Denzel good looks, I journeyed to Columbus, OH with one goal in mind: to impress the recruiters representing KPMG and obtain a full-time offer.  Needless to say (I won’t bore you with the details of the conference or how KPMG played coy and took three days to extend an offer after leaving the second round interview process), I accomplished my goal and was offered a position with the firm.

‪What I do want to spend time discussing, as cliché as it may sound, is how impressed I was with the individuals I met at the conference, during the subsequent Inside Look program, and after starting full-time with the firm.  KPMG is, and I say this without reservation, a great place to build your career because of the people.  If you don’t agree, where else could you work and:

§  look at “umpteen” thousand confirmations that you had to perform alternative procedures on;

§  travel to Knoxville, TN where they literally had one road where you had a limited selection of fine fast food (Kingston Pike);

§  be required to stay in a LaQuinta Inn for a “special project” (I mean come on…LaQuinta Inn?!?);

§  live in Louisville, KY where a weekly happy hour resulted in stories unmatched by even Vegas visitors; and

§  sojourn in Springfield, IL enjoying sumptuous steaks at the premier Southern Illinois steakhouse, Texas Roadhouse, regularly 

‪…and build long lasting relationships and have some of the funniest and fondest memories of your adult life?  Only at KPMG where this is all part of the ‘quality professional experience’!

‪I leave the firm to enter a new phase in my career with absolutely no regrets that I started my career with KPMG.  I have enjoyed meeting many of you, working with some of you, and sharing a laugh with a few of you.  But to all of you, I sincerely thank you for making my tenure at KPMG a great experience.

‪Take care,

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“Now that’s how you <go out>…from now on, THAT’s how you <go out>!”